The urge to listen to that rock song once again woke me up this morning. Strange? What is not strange. So many decades gone and I still have to wake up everyday and take shit. But it’s fine. It’s fine as long as there’s good music to listen to. What if, one day, all the music just disappears from all the devices, all the hard drives and flash drives, all the cloud systems on the internet, all the music apps. Man, I would put a bullet through my throat. I would have my eyes snatched away by vultures. I would have a road roller run over me. I would pay the driver three times just to do the goddamn job without any regards to humanity. Yeah, money can do that. Money can buy loyalty, but only for as long as the money lasts. But really, how long does it last. And it’s useful only on this little dying beloved planet of ours. Today, some guy is the richest man. Tomorrow, some other guy will take his place. Guy or girl, whatever. It doesn’t matter to me. They talk about one dimensional progress. That’s the problem with the people who keep using too much of their tiny brains all the time – they think they are getting somewhere. It’s all bullshit. They are just fooling themselves and trying to fool everyone else. God, it’s a difficult matter. Grave matter.
Sometimes, I think I am doing all of them a favor by just sitting here in my chair, looking out of the window, making love to you all the time, not doing anything much about the distress we have brought upon this beautiful world. It’s still a beautiful world and this life is still a beautiful life, pointless but beautiful, but for how long either will remain so, I really cannot say. I can feel the fangs of evil growing out of everywhere, reaching everywhere, tearing our flesh and our spirit to bits. Really, what man has been spared in this long history of ours. Almost everybody dies with a stabbed heart. Only more hearts keep popping up, waiting to get stabbed all the same. How pointless. And it just doesn’t stop. It doesn’t stop. I could keep drinking all day and night to keep myself oblivious to all kinds of shit happening, but it won’t matter. The shit would still keep happening. All kinds of shit.
My induction cooker is beeping in the kitchen. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. The eggs must have boiled by now,and whether they are ready or not, they are going through my teeth all the same.
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