Tomic Riter

Category: story

  • Understanding Your Feelings: A Path to Emotional Clarity

    Understanding Your Feelings: A Path to Emotional Clarity

    I wasn’t too busy. In fact, I had ample time to write something every evening. No, I wasn’t busy. I just have this strange feeling. I feel as if I am starving for something I cannot put into words. I feel like I haven’t felt anything in quite some time. This isn’t about love. No. This is something else. I could blame my boring day job for this feeling. But blaming doesn’t help me in any way. I don’t want to dwell on who to blame and how much to blame. I want to understand this feeling and it’s not easy. I don’t know where to begin to understand this feeling. It has been with me for so long now, like a shadow. I want to understand this feeling and I want to feel better. I want to feel good. Is that too much to ask for in today’s world? To feel good?

    – Tomic

  • The Impact of Bonus Inequality on Workplace Morale

    The Impact of Bonus Inequality on Workplace Morale

    As I reached my workplace this morning, my boss was already there in his chair. As I entered, I greeted him and he greeted me back. We shook hands. Immediately he asked me if I knew about the discrepancies being observed recently in bonus credit among employees. I said yes. I didn’t care much. I don’t care much about the office politics.

    As the hours passed, I got calls from several friends and colleagues working in the same industry, and they were all talking about the same thing as my boss. Apparently, the employees higher up in the chain are getting paid more percentage-wise compared to the employees working towards the lower end. It looks like the divide-and-rule formula is in play here as well.

    As of now, I cannot comment much on the topic. Some things are clear. Employees lower in the chain do more actual hard work compared to the employees higher up in the chain. Also, the discrepancy in payout of bonus is huge and cannot go unaddressed.

    The reason for me talking about this issue isn’t just because I want everybody to earn more. The truth is that the policy of divide-and-rule hasn’t been successful in creating happy people, happy workers or happy employees. I think if the employees work happily, they will work in a better way too.

  • Long Week and the Need for a Vacation: Weekly post

    Long Week and the Need for a Vacation: Weekly post

    Today is Monday. For a moment I thought it’s wednesday. Damn. This one’s going to be a long long week. The good part is that I work for only four out of six days. I need a really long vacation away from here. I need a new place with new faces around me. No work. Just slow hours passing slowly. Me having a few drinks in the evening until time to get in warm bed and sleep. Much is happening in the world. Much more happening with me. I’m burdened beyond anything. I don’t know where my days are going. Damn. Eight months are almost over. I’ve done nothing. Nothing. Now, listening to Cohen. I love his voice and his poetry. He was a solid man.

    Today is Sunday. Night already. I thought I’d write something here every day. I failed. I hadn’t much time in this week. I did manage to write more regularly. I travelled but not too far from home. I had two short trips. I’ve started giving more time to photography as well. I’m cutting down on my drinking habits. I’ve stopped smoking cigarettes. September is soon. By October, I would love to bring my life back on fast track. Now, listening to Dylan. His voice takes me to a place that’s peaceful.

    – Tomic

  • Cultivating Daily Habits for Personal Transformation

    Cultivating Daily Habits for Personal Transformation

    Murakami hasn’t published any new book in quite some time. Strange! I admire his writing stamina besides physical stamina. Dude runs 10 kilometres almost every morning, and then sits down and writes for hours each day. I call that true discipline.

    It’s the kind of discipline that I want to cultivate in myself – to work towards being fit every day, and to write something every day. Besides these two habits, I want to cultivate a third habit as well – to be meditative for at least forty minutes each day. I think these three habits can bring a 180 degrees transformation in anybody.

    But merely thinking about building these habits won’t help. I need to act on them as well. I need to wake up in the morning much earlier than usual, which means I need to sleep no later than midnight. That’s the tough part. To sleep much earlier than usual. As of now, night time is the only time that I can get for myself. It’s a difficult situation but not out of my hands. I know that I can make a new routine for myself and stick to it. The question thus remains – when to begin?

    Once I wake up early, I’ll have ample time for a 7-kilometres walk. It’s what I’d begin with, and gradually increase the distance to 12 kilometres of daily walking. Once my body gets used to it, I’d begin jogging 3 kilometres and gradually increase the distance to 6 kilometres, and finally to 10 kilometres of daily running.

    Coming to the third habit of meditation, it’s the easiest one for me to develop. I’m used to meditation of upto twenty minutes at a stretch. I just need to be regular on it and gradually increase time from twenty to forty minutes, and finally to one hour of meditation each day.

    I won’t talk about the second habit of writing each day since I’m at it on most of the days, and I love to write so much that I hardly skip doing it on any day, however late it gets.

    The road to building this new routine is hard but doable. I know it is. It’s something that I need to do to get better at everything, at life.

    – Tomic

  • Reflections on Non-Eventful Days

    Reflections on Non-Eventful Days

    Hadn’t much to write about yesterday. I worked until late evening, and later, got drunk. Fell asleep. This morning, woke up early. Talked to god for sometime. Took bath. Got dressed and went out for a couple of hours. Couldn’t find anything good to eat. Drove back home. Got in my bed and slept again. Woke up in the evening. Got dressed and stepped out to eat. Looked at the sky. How couldn’t I. The sky was bright orange after a really long time. Took some pictures. I got on my motorcycle and drove to this cafe. Had warm bread with butter. Hot coffee. I paid and drove around the town for some time and then back home. Even when nothing is happening, something is happening.

    – Tomic

  • Why Expression Matters: Life Beyond Struggles

    Why Expression Matters: Life Beyond Struggles

    Almost half of life of a man is spent taking shit. Isn’t it so? Think about the last time you took shit. I’m sure it wasn’t too long ago.

    I don’t know what more to say on the matter. Look at everyone’s face. Looks like each one of us is betrayed in existence. We have been baited. We have been deceived. We have been dumbed down and made compliant. Sometimes I feel that I can see more than others. It hurts to be able to see before others can. It’s hard to tell anybody anything. It’s impossible to forewarn about anything. It’s hard to keep quiet as well. I cannot thank enough the medium of writing as a way of direct communication.

    It’s one thing to take shit all your life. It’s another thing to have an outlet, a way of expression. I think it’s necessary to have a way of expression in one’s life, to have a way of venting it all out. For me, that way of expression is writing. Although I do not always write to vent out. I just write. It just so happens to help me in venting out what is sometimes pent up within me for days and years. Writing is discomforting but there’s some joy in feeling that discomfort. The joy of being able to put something into clear lines is something else.

    So what if half life of a man is spent taking shit. All lives aren’t equally fortunate, but all lives are worthy.

    – Tomic

  • Finding Inspiration: Lessons from 9 Years of Writing

    Finding Inspiration: Lessons from 9 Years of Writing

    Each night, as I sit to write, something always comes out. Isn’t that strange. I’ve never not been able to write so far. There’s always something to write.

    The year was 2017 and now it’s 2026. I’ve been writing regularly for nine years now. On and off. Mostly on though. I’ve got two published poetry books. Besides that, more than thousand poems scattered here and there. And still, as I sit to type, something always comes out on the paper. I find it quite strange.

    Sometimes I wonder from where all of this comes, the things that I write. Personal experiences of course. But it isn’t just that. I believe one must get out there and put himself in all kinds of situations. It demands certain courage and not just that. It demands a certain level of madness too. Were I not a bit mad, I’d just stay indoors and eat and sleep and one day, die. But I don’t want that. I want conversations, experiences, challenges. I want to earn a good long sleep.

    But not each day goes in the way in which I want it to go. Most days are spent doing slave work. It hurts. Hurts a lot! But such is the situation sometimes. One’s got to do stuff to get money so that one may live a little of the life that one wants to live. And one does all of this while getting hurt. Absurd but true. Life is absurd. Is it so difficult to live the kind of life that one wants to live everyday?

    I don’t know. I cannot say much about that. I believe that life is to be lived well, and it is to be lived so despite failures and successes.

    But why am I suddenly talking about life. I was talking about my writing journey and suddenly I started talking about life. I think that such is life. It seeps into everything, into all the aspects. Life is one and whole and should be lived so.

    – Tomic

  • Ramblings: Man alone

    Ramblings: Man alone

    Man is burdened with work. He is alone and sick. He cannot share anything with anybody. Nobody to share things with. He is just so alone and so sad. Each evening, he waits for the work to get over so that he can go home and be alone for the rest of night. He can go anywhere at night, be anyone at night. But he is just too tired. He doesn’t want anything. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He doesn’t want good wishes or consolations or motivation. He wants his bed and he wants some rest. His spine aches, his mouth runs dry, his eyes are hurting all the time. He knows that the morning isn’t far. It’s on the way and like a demon, it’s coming right at him. He doesn’t want to think about the morning and about work. He hates work. He wants to give up and run away to some strange land and live on bare minimum. He wants to spend time in divine company. He is tired of running and hurting. He wants to take everything slow. He is waiting. Waiting. Waiting. He is waiting for the right time to leave everything behind. How would he know that the right time has come? How? I’ve got no clue. I’m as lost as he is, probably more.

    – Tomic

  • The Struggle of Waking Up Early: A Personal Journey

    The Struggle of Waking Up Early: A Personal Journey

    I had to wake up early this morning but I couldn’t. I had to wake up early yesterday morning but I couldn’t. I had to wake up early on all the mornings before and I didn’t. I couldn’t. Do you understand how it feels to wake up failing?

    During the day, the mind keeps itself busy at work. The work continues for most of the evening. It is only after late evening that I begin to regret for not waking up early morning. There are tasks that are better done early morning than late night. Walking. Exercising. Writing a bit. Reading a bit. Meditating on a form.

    Once I’m back from work, my body is tired. My eyes hurt. My mind feels heavy. Severe back pain. All I care about is eating and resting. I am unable to put my body and mind to another heavy activity. I just want to sit in my chair, listen to good music, maybe have a drink or two, and when it’s time to lay in bed, I lay in bed and close my eyes.

    Every morning I put three alarms and I fail to get up from bed on all three. I hope that I wake up early tomorrow morning and break this dumb cycle. I believe that a productive early morning would lead to a much more fulfilling day.

    – Tomic

  • Understanding Silence: A Journey Within

    Understanding Silence: A Journey Within

    Complete silence. Utter silence. Silence that is too loud. Does it make you lose your balance? Does it make you feel dizzy? Does it scare you? Does it make you cry? Does it make you feel disconnected with the material world?

    There’s a ball of light within me. Sometimes when I sit in complete silence for long periods, I feel that ball of light moving from hand to leg to other hand to other leg to chest to stomach. I can only see the ball of light with my inner eye. I understand if none of this makes sense. It doesn’t make sense to me either. But some experiences become unforgettable. This is one such experience of mine.

    Whenever I sit in complete silence with eyes closed for more than twenty minutes, I start losing connection with my body. I stop feeling my body. This feeling scares me. Whenever I open my eyes, I feel lighter. Sometimes my eyes become wet. Often, it’s difficult to make rapid and large movements in the body.

    – Tomic