I am not failing enough. That is the problem. The problem is just that. The fucking problem. It’s like I’ve come to a halt. I cannot believe how I have come to this. But then, there’s nothing to believe in it. It’s a fact that I’ve stopped functioning altogether. I am just a rotten vegetable now. Useless. And on top of everything, this headache from long hours of sleep, long hours of work, long hours of sitting before some screen and breaking my eyes. This headache at the back of my head, bottom right. It’s like somebody came and stuffed that part of my head with immense pain while I was asleep last night. And as I ponder over this problem of mine, I come face to face with a lot more. A lot lot more. It’s all so overwhelming. Suddenly I am drowning in, getting sucked in, getting ripped apart. I cannot seem to think of a music that goes well with this agonising state of mine. Maybe I will find it before the day ends. It has only begun. There’s so much to be done. What have I done. Not a thing. What have I written down. Not a word. What have I given back to this world. A big zero.
For now, time to eat.
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