I don’t remember at what time I fell asleep last night. But so what. It was past midnight and that’s all I remember. I remember removing my clothes and lying down next to you in bed. I remember your head on my chest, my arms on your back, you falling asleep on me. Woke up this morning without enough sleep. Woke up too soon. Woke up at 6:10, washed my filthy eyes, removed leftover dinner from the fridge, left it open on the sofa. Fell down in bed at 6:21, setting a new alarm of 6:35 in my cellphone, otherwise I wouldn’t have woken up until noon. Threw away the cellphone, closed my eyes. 8 in the morning is too early to go back to work, too early to to go back to that goddamn desk littered with pointless documents, too early to wake up for anything unless we are making love. Woke up at 6:35. Turned off the goddamn alarm. Closed my eyes. Woke up again at 6:42. Sat on the bed, cursed my job. The weather was still cool. It won’t be the same an hour later, I thought. Nothing is same an hour later, whatever hour it is. Got up naked, walked to the toilet, pissed on the yellow stained wall, pissed in the hole that never gets tired of taking my shit, pissed for ten minutes, pissed all of it. Got out, walked to the sink, Opened the tap. Picked up the toothbrush, applied some paste. Threw away the toothpaste. Washed my face with right hand, brushed my teeth with left, looked with both eyes half opened at all the dirt in my kitchen – plastic bottles, salt everywhere, cooking oil flowing down the granite slab, roaches crawling around, roaches sleeping in their homes on the back side of my induction stove. Watched and brushed for so long. Walked to the leftover dinner, poured all the rice and curry in a pan, placed the pan on the stove, turned on the stove, walked back to the sink with limp cock and dry throat. Noticed half the toothpaste dripping down on my stomach. Stopped brushing. Filled my mouth with the awfully dirty tap water, spat all in the sink, spat thrice, poured some of that water on my stomach, wiped with my palm. Threw away the brush. Left dinner on the stove, left it to turn magically into my breakfast. Walked to my bedroom, wore a pair of blue jeans, the same one that I have been wearing since the big bang. Wore my plain orange polo t-shirt, walked to the stove, turned it off. Picked up a spoon, mixed rice and curry. Whatever was there in the pan, it looked good enough, even kind. At 8 in the morning, what else could I expect! Walked with pan to my bedroom , sat in my chair, ate everything, drank water, got up. Threw the empty pan in the sink, turned off the only fan running, closed all the windows, picked up my bag. Left you sleeping. Stepped out. 7:43 on the clock. Everything done poorly. Everything done anyways.
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