Four in a row.

The day began on an alright note. For a moment, I thought this is it. No more bad days. Shit is behind me. But then, shit turned upside down in no time. Shit turned on me even before noon. All this makes me wonder – have I grown totally senseless? Can I feel anything at all anymore? Am I so wrong? Have I do something so wrong that I have to see this shit? The answer is that I do not care. I have done an awful lot of stuff, and I don’t regret shit. I can look into anyone’s eyes and tell them straight – I did this shit. I did this fucking shit. I did what I had to in that moment, and nobody, and I mean nobody can really step in my shoes and say – well, there was a better way to do it. Empathy, sympathy it’s all a farce. An unconscious response. Even the ones who say they understand, they were not there. All their understandings are just an appropriation. There never was a better way to take. There was just one way – the one that was taken. All else are just fantasies of a flaky mind.

Outside, raining like a bitch once again. This city is full of filth. I am rightfully here. Now, light my cigarette and sing me a song and let me rot gracefully in my hell.

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