Merry time is almost over. In twelve hours, the drudgery resumes. Twelve hours of life left. Remove from that 9 hours of sleep. That leaves me with just three hours. Three hours. People talk about forever. How ridiculous. Turned down a dinner offer. I do not usually seek human connection. I like to remain utterly alone . I might end up doing nothing at home, but I find it better that going out to meet boring people. I do not usually care about eating, and I care even lesser about a dinner invitation. I can sleep with hunger in my stomach. It won’t at least be boring. Shuffling through my playlists. Have I missed a gem in there? I need to discover one tonight. I need to. Tonight, I am not an alcoholic. Tonight, I am not a chain smoker either. Tonight, I am a different kind of addict. Is it even possible to stop one addiction for another? How many of us are truly free? I haven’t found one. Finding one isn’t my life’s purpose either. I keep posing these questions to myself. None of them are meant to be answered. I know the answers. Two and half hours more. I could have taken a bath today. It’s been eleven days. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. Soon, it is over again.
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