Sitting on my ass.

Another day. Who would have thought. But it’s here. It’s always here. It’s spreading its eagle wings, opening its dinosaur mouth. It’s going to devour me today, just like it did yesterday. I am tired and weak and there’s something in me which is incurable. I write my blogs inside locked bathroom, on the toilet seat, on the wet bathroom floor. I write on my cellphone because I have got time for nothing. It’s not like I got anything to do. It’s just the way I am. Just the way I am. And it’s fine. It’s not that bad. I brush my teeth in the morning. Isn’t that enough doing for a day, when all days are just the same? I know there’s an escape and it’s not some poison or hanging by a cloth. I know that there’s a painless escape, a one-way route, the only route to true freedom, to salvation. Salvation? What the hell am I writing about. I get distracted sometimes. What salvation? I can hardly boil rice. I can hardly cut my fingernails. There’s no salvation for me. There’s nothing for me. Just these words and these sentences that I am trying to make. I am a clown. I am the saddest clown on this planet. I am one of a kind. Headache again. I will torture myself later. Now, I better take a shower.

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